She has taken the time and is making the effort to look me in the eye and make sure I understand that she isn’t interested and to explain why. In nearly every way I can think of, this is upside-down, ass-backwards and inside-out from how I was brought up.Ignoring someone – someone who is paying you a huge compliment, in fact – is just flat-out What the hell – was I raised in a barn, she’d ask?It’s the ones who employ actual manners, as we learned them growing up, who make us feel the worst about ourselves.
I remember feeling obliged, when I got a message from a woman who didn’t interest me, to try and craft a nice reply that didn’t make her feel bad about herself. If there’s no contact, it’s harder to take it personally.
One, when in Rome, and two, frankly it’s a lot easier than responding and rejecting, something I have always been very bad at and extremely uneasy doing.
If you get approached by someone you don’t find attractive, for whatever reason, you simply hit delete and move on. I began adapting to these odd new cultural mores, for a couple of reasons.
In a phone chat, you’ll get a better sense of whether your personalities click. Note: it’s a bad sign if, during his monologue about his golf swing, you’re checking your watch and praying that you lose your cell-phone signal.
DON’T disclose where you live or for that matter, any personal information that could lead to your address, such as your home phone number, last name, or an email address that includes your last name.
When you know more about him, he can pick you up and drop you off at home, but don’t invite him in just yet – even if he pleads that he urgently has to use your bathroom.